Originally posted 7-4-15 on “Hope for the Journey”
Since the original post, my son has had his baby, making me a grandmother, for the first time. Not much else has changed.
I hope you enjoy my ramblings.
This morning I watched an interesting video, and although I didn’t understand the language, the subtitles and topic was made perfectly clear.
It got me to thinking about my own son. When he was very young that boy had a head of hair I loved. It was soft and curly, although it never stayed where I combed it. His big brown eyes were the most expressive ones I had ever seen in my life and I gave in way too many times to the sad look he gave me. In my eyes he was the perfect little boy. He allowed me to coddle him and love on him with hugs and kisses. He gave the biggest bear hugs. Quiet tears come to my eyes when I think of how much he loved me.
He got a little older and while many his age started pulling away from doing those sweet loving acts toward their moms, my son promised he would never get too old to kiss me on the cheek before going to school in the morning, no matter how old he got. He would sit with me, even in his pre-teen years and allow me to read to him. He would nuzzle against my arm and sometimes fall asleep – depending on the content of the book I happened to be reading. I counted myself truly blessed.
Then came the girls. My was he ever girl crazy. And the girls loved him in return. I kept thinking, “what’s not to love?” He would talk about one or the other on a daily basis. My little boy was growing up. But he always seemed to have time for his mom. Life wasn’t always easy for him. He did some pretty bad stuff, but I always stood by him and saw the best in him. Looking back now, I think I may have been the only one who did.
Then came the big “D” and something happened to my son that I never expected in a million years. The once loving and caring young man turned against me in a way that can only be defined as demonic. This wasn’t a case of a child being hurt or angry, he was plain evil. He turned on me. And now his actions are hateful and mean.
He, since, has gotten married and is expecting a child of his own. And I shiver to think how he will treat his own wife. Because most adults know, you can tell a lot about a person by the way they treat their opposite sex parent. I shudder to think the mean things he will say to her behind closed doors.
Going back to the video…I wonder at the amount of respect those young men truly had for their mothers to treat women walking down the street with such disrespect. I think a number of mothers around the world would be shocked to see how their sons treat women, and they, like me, may wonder “does my son truly respect me or is it all an act?”
The sad part is, my son doesn’t remember those times when he was younger. Those memories have somehow disappeared. But a sentimental mom, like me, will always cling to memories of that little wide-eyed boy whose whole world revolved around them. Yes, I want my boy to be a man, to be a good husband and father. But more than that, I want him to respect his mother and his wife and understand that you cannot expect respect without giving it in spades!
Until my next revelation,