I am considering doing a study. A study into my psyche. Scary, I know.
Here I am, over fifty, and I have a LOT of baggage. I have to keep reminding myself of that fact on occasion. You see, I have a tendency to “forget” the dirty stuff that has been so conveniently hidden in those bags for years. Every once in a while, I bring out an item that smells foul, just to show people what a stinky past I have. Why? Good question! I am starting to ask myself that question more thoughtfully.
Here’s the problem. I have baggage, yes. But EVERYONE does! The difference is that most people take items out and deal with them, maybe figuring out how they can be “bettered” by the item. Then they either clean it up or toss it out. Me? I tend to savor the pungent odors. Maybe because they are so familiar? Maybe in hopes that one day they will smell pretty again? I don’t know. But no matter the reason I give, it isn’t healthy. I have a new life and a future. I cannot move forward if I can continually pulling out crap from my bags!
A few years ago, I found a study co-written by a counselor who deals with just this topic. I picked it up and bought if for someone else. But I never gave it to that person. Now it sits, collecting dust on my shelf. Well, I think it is high time that I stop being such a hypocrite and “take the log out of my own eye.” My goal, or one of them, anyway, is going to be figuring out how to treat my baggage properly. I am sure there are PLENTY of blogs to read and studies to do in order to get that accomplished.
I am sure that my sweet husband will appreciate my efforts since my stinky stuff tends to interfere with the blossoming and sweet-smelling relationship I could have with him.
Until next time,
(originally written 12-28-15)
Update: As of today I that book still sits collecting dust. But I HAVE been “dealing” with the dirtiest parts of my past by airing it and letting it go. Writing helps me through and the Lord gives grace for each word I write.